Are you fluent in self-confidence body language?

Here’s a little exercise you can try. Try to touch your toes. You don’t actually have to reach them, but wherever you land, release your neck and let your head hang heavy. Then slowly roll up – vertebra by vertebra – stacking the spine into the hips. Keep the head heavy until the shoulders roll back, the neck unfurls, and the crown reaches towards the sky. Congratulations! You’ve discovered what a self-confident posture looks & feels like to you. Because we all have unique bodies, “good posture” might look very different to each of us.

With this new posture, walk around the room you find yourself in and notice how you feel, do you somehow feel more self-confident, hows your rizz? What kinds of people walk this way? What emotion is being conveyed through your body language? Now take on what we might consider “bad posture” – slouching, tensing, rounding – and ask yourself the same questions. How do you feel? Who walks like this? Which posture feels better? The choice is yours. If you find healthy posture hard to maintain, you might need to work on strengthening your abdominal muscles.

Self-Confidence, not Arrogance!

Remember, we are not going for arrogance here, oh no no no, more self value and respect. Arrogance is often exhibited by us in an attempt to hide an insecurity, now that’s a different blog post altogether, watch this space. Self-confidence is the direction… Check out our blog on peer pressure.

Lips don’t lie

RBF. Resting B*%@h Face. When we’re not actively engaged in conversation, our face can relax into an intimidating stare that basically reads as a big ‘ol “KEEP OUT” to passersby. Most times, we don’t even notice that we’ve taken on such a look. But, hey, we’re not here to say “You should smile more!!!” (we’ve been on the receiving end of this one and it does not, in fact, make you want to smile). Nonetheless, if you strive to appear more confident, there are a few simple ways to brighten up that expression we carry around.

• Slow down & Take it all in – Let’s open our eyes wide and take a look around. Enjoy any trees waving hello in the breeze, the perfect blend of coffee, sugar, and milk in our mugs, the waft of fresh croissants from the bakery, or the sound of rain on roofs. How often do we actually take the time to notice where we are? There is a lot to appreciate in the everyday, but it can easily pass under the radar if we’re fixated on the chores to be done and the places to go. Those things will always be there as part of our experience. But the moment we find ourselves in is completely one-of-a-kind; there will never be another quite like this. Offer yourself the gift of being present…wherever you are. Your expression and body language will follow.

• Breathe! – Try it with me. Instead of breathing into our chests, let’s move the inhale down deep into our bellies. Fill the ribs with breath, then hold at the top of the inhale for a moment. Finally, release the breath with ease and continue the exhale until the inhale naturally returns. How we breathe directly affects the state of our nervous system, meaning we can make ourselves more anxious or more relaxed just by controlling our breath. If you don’t believe me, try hyperventilating for a minute and let me know how you feel. When we’re breathing deeply and extending our exhales, our body naturally calms itself and we’re able to show up as our best selves. 

• Smize 🙂 – Next time you spot a Buddha statue, note the facial expression. He’s not giving a neutral look, and he’s definitely not serving RBF. Buddhists call this expression the “half-smile of the Buddha.” To fully feel the power of this slight smile, close or lower the eyes and sit in stillness for a minute or two. Then, allow a very small smile to spread across the lips. Notice how this affects the rest of your body and the way you feel. As Thich Nhat Hahn realized, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

The power of these three factors is not limited to eradicating RBF. Slowing down, being present, breathing deeply, and gently smiling will also help us out when we’re engaged in conversation. We’re almost at ~peak rizz levels~. There’s just one last bit we have to cover.