Valentine’s Day tends to arrive loudly. Hearts everywhere. Big gestures. Instagram posts galore. Messages that suggest love is something visible, shared and neatly defined.

But for many people, Valentine’s Day does the opposite. It brings endings into sharper focus. Relationships that have changed. Friendships that no longer feel the same. People who once felt close, now far away. And for those living, studying or working abroad, that sense of distance can feel especially pronounced.

At mindhamok, we spend a lot of time thinking about what happens in the in-between moments. The spaces where things are not quite a crisis but no longer feel settled either. Valentine’s Day often sits right there.

When things end, even quietly… (shh!)

Heartbreak does not always arrive with a clear beginning or a dramatic moment. Often, it shows up gradually. A slow drifting apart. Fewer messages. A sense that something has shifted, even if no one can quite name when or why.

For young adults, particularly those navigating new countries, cultures and identities, these endings can feel disorientating. Relationships formed during periods of transition often carry extra weight. They can become anchors in unfamiliar places. When they end, it is not just the loss of a person, but the loss of stability, familiarity and belonging.

And yet, these experiences are rarely spoken about openly. They sit quietly alongside lectures, work deadlines and social plans, often unnoticed by those around them.

Taking care of ourselves…

Alongside romantic love and connection with others, Valentine’s Day can also quietly invite reflection on the relationship we have with ourselves. This is often the one that receives the least attention, yet carries us through every transition, ending and beginning. Learning to sit with our own thoughts, offer ourselves compassion during moments of loneliness, and recognise our worth beyond productivity or relationships is not always easy. But it matters. Especially in periods of change, self-connection can become a steady presence when everything else feels uncertain.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

Loneliness in a connected world

Valentine’s Day has a way of magnifying loneliness, even for people who are not alone. Being surrounded by others does not always protect us from feeling disconnected. Sometimes it makes it sharper.

In international education, loneliness can take many forms. Missing home. Feeling out of step with peers. Losing a friendship that once made everything feel easier. These experiences do not always register as something “serious”, but they shape how people move through their days.

Loneliness is not a failure to connect. It is often a response to change, uncertainty and emotional loss. And change is something that international education is built on.

Why this matters beyond the individual

Endings and heartbreak are often framed as personal issues, things to be dealt with privately. But in reality, they ripple outward. They affect how students show up in classrooms, how staff engage with their work, how communities function.

When emotional experiences are left unacknowledged, they can surface in other ways: withdrawal, frustration, burnout or disengagement. Recognising heartbreak and loneliness as natural parts of the human experience helps create environments where people feel safer to exist as they are, rather than as they think they should be.

This is not about fixing or resolving emotions. It is about making space for them.