We’re surrounded by people all the time. We pass them on the street, work alongside them, sit next to them in lectures, share houses with them and scroll past their lives online. Yet somehow, it’s still possible to feel alone… especially nowadays!
Loneliness can be a strange thing because it doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. We might have a busy social calendar and still feel disconnected or have hundreds of people we could message but nobody we feel we can really talk to. We might even work in a busy office, live in a house full of people or spend our days surrounded by students, and still feel like we’re on our own.
For anyone living, studying or working abroad, there can be an added layer to all of this. Moving to another country means leaving behind many of the relationships, routines and familiar places that have made life feel normal. We’re suddenly expected to navigate a new environment, meet new people, adapt to different ways of doing things and somehow feel at home. It can be exciting, but it can also be a lot, right?! Mindhamok kno
One of the hardest things about loneliness is that it can feel like we’re the only one experiencing it. For students, we might look around campus and see groups of friends laughing together, people making plans for the weekend and everyone seemingly settling into their new lives. Then we go back to our room and wonder why it hasn’t happened for us yet.
We might be busy supporting students, organising programmes, dealing with problems and making sure everything runs smoothly, while quietly finding ourselves far from our own support networks. When our role involves looking after other people, it can be surprisingly easy to forget that we need looking after too.
And whoever we are, well social media doesn’t always help. We see the nights out, the trips away, the new friendships and all the moments that make life abroad look like one long adventure. What we don’t see are the evenings spent missing home, the awkward attempts at making friends or the person quietly wondering whether they made the right decision by coming here.
We’re very good at showing people that we’re having a good time but we’re not always quite so good at showing them when we’re not.
Our relationships and sense of belonging can have a big impact on how we feel. Having people around us who we can talk to, spend time with and turn to when things aren’t going well can make difficult periods feel much more manageable.
The World Health Organization estimates that around one in six people worldwide experience loneliness, with young people among those reporting some of the highest levels. Persistent loneliness and social isolation are also associated with poorer mental health, including depression and anxiety.
That’s why connection is such an important part of looking after ourselves and each other. We don’t necessarily need a huge friendship group or a diary packed with plans, sometimes it’s simply knowing there is someone we can call, somewhere we feel welcome or a person who would notice if we weren’t ourselves.
In international education, staff often have an important role in creating that sense of connection for students. But creating a supportive environment also means recognising that staff need connection too; a team where people feel able to talk openly, check in with each other and admit when things are difficult is better placed to support everyone around them. These things are at the heart of a prevention-first approach, and they are an important part of the work we do at mindhamok.
Technology has changed the way we connect with each other, particularly when we’re living far from home. Being able to call family at the touch of a button can make thousands of miles feel a little less significant, while social media can help us find communities and friendships that might not otherwise exist.
AI is becoming part of that picture too. We can use it to work through our thoughts, find information or have a conversation when we need one. There can be real value in that, particularly when we’re trying to work out what we’re feeling or where to find support, but digital connection and human connection aren’t the same thing.
Technology can help us stay connected, but it can’t replace every part of having people in our lives. Sometimes what we really need is another person sitting across the table from us, whether that’s a friend, colleague, student, counsellor or someone else we trust.
There’s no single solution to loneliness, and telling someone to “just make some friends” probably isn’t going to be particularly helpful. Instead, we can start small. Joining a society, attending a class, asking someone from our course to grab a coffee or simply spending more time in shared spaces can create opportunities for connection. For staff, it might mean making time for lunch with a colleague, getting involved in something outside work or reconnecting with people we haven’t spoken to in a while.
We might not instantly find our new best friend, but getting to know people gradually can make a new place feel much more familiar. If we know someone who seems isolated, we can do the same from the other side; invite them along, send the message or ask if they fancy a coffee.
And if loneliness has started to affect our mood, sleep, work, studies or everyday life, it’s worth talking to someone. That could be a friend, colleague, member of staff, counsellor or another professional. We don’t have to wait until things feel completely overwhelming before asking for support. We’re all looking for somewhere to belong. Perhaps the biggest thing to remember is that loneliness doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us.
Moving to another country is a huge adjustment, whether we’re there to study, work or support other people. Even when we’re excited about the experience, there will be moments when we miss the people and places we know. There will be days when we feel settled and days when we wonder what on earth we’re doing here… that’s part of the rollercoaster!
Our phones, social media and AI can all help us feel more connected, but none of them removes the need for real relationships. We still need people who know us, people we can laugh with, people we can sit quietly with and people who might notice when we’re not quite ourselves.
So if we’re feeling lonely, we don’t need to have it all worked out before doing something about it. We can start with one person, one conversation or one small step towards being around other people.
Our support is available wherever you are, with access to our 24/7 helpline for in-the-moment support and the option to request a counselling session with a mindhamok counsellor when you need something more ongoing.
Sometimes reaching out is the hardest part, so put your mind in a hammock and let’s get connected.
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